The alien.

I don't think I will ever fit into this skin
I can't promise I will always let you in
I don't have the guts to tear down this wall
I don't really feel I have to at all

I guess I'll always be the outsider
The one trapped between him and her
The one caught between lust and prudence
The one known as intelligence and dunce

These humans are all the same
Despite each playing a different game
I don't think I will ever fit in
I'm too lost and confused in this skin

Evermore do the questions keep churning
All alone in the answers I'm burning
Caught inside of a downward spiral
The world in hopes that it goes viral

Nothing I hold is sacred anymore
I am scared, running bare, nothing more
While my insides label me a whore
The other half contesting, "this's what life's for"

My heart's bruised and always in pain
From a time I've lived over again
Can't you see that you're not the remedy
In the end it's not you, it's just me

And we bicker and bark to be right
Won't stand down until one wins the fight
Here we are in the wake of romance
Together on separate hills, battle-stance

God, I love you but I'm so far gone
Nothing's left but the part that is wrong
All I am is an uncomfortable soul
Crying out for an ounce of control

Who am I and which way is okay?
Why the fuck am I lost everyday?
Why can I not sit comfortably,
In a world thrashing 'round like an angry sea?

Little spaceship come take me away
On a zephyr to another day
Where the sun makes some sense as it sets
Where my mind can for once take a breath

Where I step and I totally feel
Like I'm fine and I am actually real
Where I can stand in a skin and feel free
In a life where I'm finally me.

Immunization.

For the moment I am ill
From how the world makes me feel
Can't you see how green my skin has turned?

And I'd love to say a kiss
Is the antidote for this
But my heart is greatly bruised and burned.

I am waiting for the day
When the hurt will fly away
I will bury it far from my resting place.

My heart will be at peace
My lips give their release
The sin will no longer be inscribed on my face.

But when will that day come,
The hour, long from done
The hurt of my heart on-beating everday.

I wish that I could end it
My insides safe, defended
But this motion has me thrown in every way.

My Shangrila's penetrated
By the void that I've most hated
And the voices will not seem to dissipate.

Supple glitters glisten
Open mouths silent, listen
To the fireworks blowing steam while they congregate.

All the plane's a playground
Spinning your mind around
But I'm too sick inside to participate.

In this cage I'll stay in
Locked inside and wishing
For the day I'm healed - won't that be great?

Then I won't be a stranger
Immune to all of the danger
Immune to all the hurt the fun kicks in.

Dance in time and watching
Like everyone else is stalking
Immune and relieved that I'm, too, dead within.

The one who got away.

I wrote poetry because of you.
I write poetry because of you.
In pain and love, hearts torn in four;
And past the plains of time itself,
However far, the nights implore
Of a time of just us two.

Another life, another time.
I could not understand the rhyme.
Though paths were crossed and then unwind,
Until the world is now between us.
Life has come now between us.

And every day I never dwell
Until the whisper of the past
Fleets softly by my wandering ear
Until I feel familiar caress
Of a time that I once knew;
A time when there was me and you.

And then my heart flutters in pain
Until I forget it all again.
A memory now just long since past
In the shape of bruises, maimed to last.